Should I or should I not?......

I have been thinking about changing the layout of my blog and the header. The problem is I'm too scared to make the chnages as I've tried to change the template into the 3 columns template but at the end, I lost some blog links in my bloglist/. SIGH...... So, should I or should I not change the layout of thus blog and the header?  What do you reckon???

How to be your own best friend.....

        I came across this good article by Leanne French "Be your own BESTFRIEND" in the NEXT magazine; August 2009(a local magazine-published in NZ). I think it's good to share this with everybody. When I read the article, it made me reflect on my own self-view. I sometimes have few negative opinions on the way I look, the way I behave, the way I do things etc. It's hard to be positive when you have some negative thoughts lingering in your head. Somehow after I finished reading the article, I realized that before you love other people, it's better to love yourself.(mesti ramai yg dah tahu pasal ni kan tapi susah nak praktikkan). WHY??? Well, when we treat yourself nicely, accept and value yourself, you'll be merrier happier! When you are happy and you know it, you'll clap your hands , you'll become good a better friend, parent, partner etc. Thus, how to do you learn or nurture the self-love? Here are some tips....

 Tips for nurturing self-love:

• Make good choices for your mind and body
• Make sure your essential needs are met.
• Be positive and encouraging.
• Reward yourself.
• Believe in your talents and abilities.
• Nurture your potentials.
• Trust your instincts.
• Make time to do the things you love.
• Be proactive and responsible.
• Value your time.
• Own your feelings.
• Set boundaries and enforce the consequences.
• Radiate self-respect.

How do you know that you've been a good friend to others in your life??? Well, it's hard to tell or even when you ask those who are close to you, they might tell that you are a good friend just because they don't want to hurt you. I'm glad that there are some indicators given in the article about being a good friend.

A good friend is....

• Interested and interesting.
• Someone who puts boundaries in place.
• Respectful. A good friend respects themselves, shows respect towards others and only accepts being treated with respect.
• Able to show vulnerability now and again. (this is sometimes hard! I know!)
• Happy to share their thoughts and experiences with you and asks about yours.
• Someone who doesn't preach, teach or tell. Instead, asks and listens. (hmmm you might have some who like to preach a.k.a membebel atau bagi nasihat mcmlah diaorg pandai sgt kan)
• Affectionate and tolerant.
• Someone who keeps blame and critism turned down, and acceptance and admiration turned up.
• Able to let a lot of things go. (especially about the disagreements or bad things that happened in the past)
• Someone  who affirms and validates.  (kind of reassurances to what your friend says or thinks)
• Makes you laugh until your sides ache. (not sure if I've made my friends laughed before)

You might have your own opinions about this. I would like to hear if you agree or disagree about what I've shared here. This is just what I've got from the article and I somehow agree to certain extends about what the author (Leanne French) of this article has said.

Contest-AKSI SI COMEL

Dah banyak hari saya tak update blog ni. Sebenarnya macam tak de cerita menarik dan kekeringan idea untuk menulis. So, kali ini saya nak cuba nasib dlm contest anjuran Wan Anie ni.

Nama: Hafizah bt. Ariff
Tarikh Lahir: 22 Jun 2007
Umur: 2 thn 4 bln
Aksi: Membaca buku kegemaran dengan gaya seksi di atas meja komputer. Hafizah memang suka membaca buku walaupun dia belum pandai membaca. Tapi dalam gambar ni, dia sengaja menarik ke bawah t-shirt yg dipakai sehingga menampakkan sebelah bahunya. Dia suka melihat gambar2 dlm buku dan selalunya sebelum tidur, dia akan meminta saya membacakan buku untuknya. Dia suka meniru saya dan akaknya yang suka membaca buku apatah lagi kami akan ke "local library" setiap hari Isnin untuk meminjam buku2.

Cadangan untuk Comel Lote Collections & Muslimah Online Shop:
Berikan potongan harga untuk pelanggan setia dan harga istimewa atau voucher bila tiba perayaan istimewa seperti hari raya. Selain itu, jika ada kad keahlian pun bagus juga sbb biasanya bila ada kad keahlian akan ada kutipan mata (point). Jadi ahli2 akan berminat untuk membeli lebih untuk mendapatkan lebih mata. Promosi di blog2 lain yg sudah mempunyai ramai followers pun bagus seperti promosi di Mom Bloggers Planet, Triple Colour Life.com atau My super kids.com.

Ok, skrg jom tengok penaja contest:
Comel Lote Collections
http://comellotecollection.blogspot.com

Muslimah Online Shop
http://muslimahonlineshop.blogspot.com

Rasanya dah buat semua benda yang ada dlm syarat2 kecuali tinggalkan komen yg akan dibuat kejap lagi.

When my daughters became a butterfly and a ladybird.....

Fathini as a butterfly in the miniature jungle.


Hafizah as a ladybird.

I have been putting off to finish up writing this entry for two days because I was busy helping out my SIL. She went back to Malaysia for good after finishing her degree in marketing here. (Waikato Uni). Our house seems so different now without her and my daughters are definitely going to miss their "maksu".

So, let's go back to the story. Last Saturday (7/11/09) we(my daughters and I) attended a birthday party @ Peachgrove Playcentre. It was Lilly's birthday party. Lilly is one of Fathini's friends in the playcentre. The theme for the party was "animal". The guests had to dress up as an animal. I'm not good in making costumes. My solution was to bring them to a dollar store and bought two costumes there. Fathini chose to be a butterfly and Hafizah chose to be a ladybird.

The party started at 10 a.m. We arrived @ 10.15 and we could see that some of our friends were already there. The party looked like one of the sessions that we normally have. Maybe because most of the people there, were the members accept for few people. The kids played in the miniature jungle that had been set up in the sandpit area and of course at the playground area. Few minutes later, they served the kids with some finger food. There were heaps of food and luckily for us we had some food that we can eat like popcorn, ginger cookies, nachos, watermelon, carrot and celery sticks with a dip. There were some non-halal food too(dah mmg diaorg mat saleh) like sausages, ham cup cakes and lollies.





After the kids had finished eating the finger food, they dispersed around and continued with their own chosen activities. I asked Fathini to give the birthday present to Lilly when we had the chance. Lilly was so excited and she couldn't resist herself over the present. Thus, she tore the the wrap right after I snapped a photo of Fathini giving the present.




There were also some games later like "Sticking the monkey tail" and hitting the pinatas. Fathini took part in the "Sticking the monkey tail" game. Fathini was blindfolded by Lilly's mummy; Julia. Then, she turned Fathini around few times and asked Fathini to stick the monkey tail. Fathini sticked the tail on the tummy! Well, that's what happens when you are being blindfolded. All the kids to took part in the game, received a chocolate. Fathini and Hafizah seemed uninterested with the pinatas, so we just watched other kids from the safe distance. I myself feels that hitting a pinata is rather dangerous.



When it was the cake time, everybody gathered back to the table and the cake was lovely! The cake was like a jungle and there was also a lake that had hippo in it! There were also some other animals on the cake with some trees. I couldn't get the best angle to snap photos during this time as adults were also blocking the view. SIGH....







Before we headed back home, every kids received a goody bag. There were a ballon, 3 party poopers and animal stickers. My daughters were so happy at the party and when we arrived home, they wanted to try the party poopers! The party gave me some ideas on how to have great birthday party for our child. At least now, I know that when we have a theme, some games related to the theme, great food, and goody bags for the guests, we will make the party to be a successful one. I have 1 1/2 months to plan for Fathini's 5th birtthday!......

MomBloggersPlanet Cutest Baby in NATURE Contest

Once again, I'm going to try my luck in the contest organized by Mom Bloggers Planet. (takkan berhenti dari masuk contest sbb dah addicted. hehe). For this month;November, the theme is Cutest Baby in Nature. As usual the sponsors are Photobook Malaysia and Alice Wonders. (thanks a heap!).

Now if you are also interested to join, let's see the T&C:
Terms & Condition

1. This contest is opened to Malaysian babies 0-3 years old at the time of entry.
2. Picture should be current or less than 1 year difference from the actual age of baby.
3. You can post many pictures in one entry but should not compile them together. Please post each picture separately to make judging easy.
4. Entry must be submitted by a parent, legal guardian or close relatives (can enter for child, sibbling or cousin).
5. Entry can be in Bahasa Malaysia or English.
6. Contest starts from 1st to 15th November 2009
7. By participating, you expressly consent for your particulars, entries and photos to be posted on MomBloggersPlanet.com.
8. The Grand Prize and First Prize winners will be automatically qualified for the 2009 Cutest Baby of the Planet contest.
9. MomBloggersPlanet will select the winners
10. AliceWonders and PhotoBook Malaysia will handle the prizes delivery to Malaysian address for free. Any delivery outside of Malaysia would have to be chargeable.
11. Judge’s decision is final and no correspondence will be entertained
12. Winners will be announced on MomBloggersPlanet.com and also will be contacted via email.
13. MomBloggersPlanet.com reserves the rights to change, amend, delete or add on to these Terms and Conditions without prior notice to you and shall become effective on such date as determine by us. You agree to be bound by such amendments.
14. MomBloggersPlanet.com reserves the right to cancel the contest at any stage, if deemed necessary in our opinion, and if circumstances arise outside of our control.

All right. Now let's see the photos that I've chosen:


These photos were taken when she was 16 mnths old in our garden.
(The second photo: sorry there's her big sis in the background as they were playing together)


This is the latest photo of her taken also in our garden.

Name: Hafizah binti Ariff

Date of birth: 22 June 2007
Age: 2 years 4 months old

The background nature in the photos: We have a huge garden here in our rental house. There's a lot of different kinds of plants and flowers that keeps changing according to the season. Now, it's spring time, we can see lots of flowers blooming in the garden. There are daisies, roses, lillies and lots more. It's good to have a huge garden because my kids can explore the nature in our own background. In summer, we can enjoy eating plums because we have three plum trees. We also sometimes have some friends over who will bring their kids to play in our garden. Last summer, we also had a big BBQ feast in our garden.
The goodness of bringing baby out to enjoy outdoor activities: In my opinion, baby is always eager to learn and discover on their own. Thus, doing discovery in nature is the best option as we can help her to begin to understand about the environment. We can assist our baby by asking her lots of questions about the things around them. Don't worry about asking these questions even when your baby hasn't been able to talk yet. We can at the same time help our baby to develop her language ability. Some of the questions that we can ask are:

• Why do you think we have plants?

• Why are there so many different animals/insects/birds?

• Why do you think we have soil?

• Why do you think we need the sun?

• Why do you think we have water?

• Why are grass,most plants are green?

Don't worry about the answers given by our baby. Some will be even be funny and witty answers. It's important to let them explore first and you can always give the explanation later or even better if you find more information about nature together. To make it more interesting, there are lots of activities that you can do together with your baby. Some of my favourite activities that I personally have tried with Hafizah are:

1. Touch, see and maybe pluck some flowers (if it's your own garden.). Then you and your baby can paste some flowers in a scrapbook.
2. Any interesting games using ball.
   
3. Hide and seek.
4. Watching and talk about insects that your baby can see.
5. Treasure hunt. (hide her toys in suitable places)
   
6. Pick your own veges(if you have some-we had tomatoes and cucumbers last year)

Here are the things that your baby will do according to ages:
One year old: Learning through the experiences around her.
Two year old: Engaging more in sensory play as way of learning about the world. Totally absorbing experiences like a sponge.
Three year old: Her knowledge of simple concept is growing and she may want to revisit games and experiences that she has enjoyed.
(source: Littlies Magazine, NZ)
I guess that's all that I say for now.

Before I forget, here are the links that I have to insert:

MomBloggersPlanet contest page : http://www.mombloggersplanet.com/1899/cutest-baby-photo-contest-november-09/
PhotoBookMalaysia : http://www.photobook.com.my
AliceWonders : http://www.alicewonders.com

Berkorban apa saja........

Kali ini rasa macam nak tulis dalam Bahasa Malaysia sebab dah lama dah rasanya tak menulis dalam bahasa ibunda. Mesti semua tertanya2 kenapa pulak ada video clip lagu "berkorban apa saja" hasil karya Allahyarham Tan Sri P. Ramlee. Sebenarnya saya nak berkongsi sedikit tentang apa yang saya dan anak-anak sekarang rasa. Kami sekarang kena berkorban apa saja untuk suami saya yang sibuk menyiapkan thesis PHD di Waikato University di sini. Mungkin anak-anak tak faham sangat tentang keadaan kami sekarang. Yang diaorang tahu, papa diaorang pagi2 lagi pergi buat kerja kat makmal (lab). Kadang2 sampai ke malam atau pun balik sekejap dan pergi balik sambung kerja. Hujung minggu pun kadang2 kami tak ke mana2 sebab suami saya perlu menggunakan sesetengah mesin yang ada. Biasanya hujung minggulah masa yang paling sesuai kerana tak ramai yang akan pergi buat kerja.

Keluarga yang lain di sini pun sama. Cuma kebanyakan yang menyambung pelajaran di sini adalah di kalangan kaum Hawa. Buat masa ini hanya empat orang kaum Adam (termasuk suami saya) yang sedang menyambung pelajaran di universiti yang sama. Jadi, suami2 mereka pula terpaksa menjadi sura rumah tangga di sini. Mereka pun berkorban untuk kesejateraan keluarga mereka. Ada yang terpaksa berjauhan setelah suami mereka perlu pulang bertugas selepas tiga tahun bercuti.

Saya tidak mengambil cuti sebelum datang ke sini. Sebelum ini saya hanya bekerja secara sambilan di ELS, KL. Cuma sebelum itu, saya pernah bekerja di Kampus Kejuruteraan USM selama 4 1/2 tahun. Saya meletak jawatan sebagai guru Bahasa Inggeris pada penghujung tahun 2005 kerana saya tidak mampu lagi untuk berjauhan dari suami. Saya tahu ramai juga pasangan lain yang berada dalam situasi yang sama. Malah arwah ma dan abah saya sendiri memang tidak setuju dengan tindakan drastik saya. Ketika itu apa yang saya fikirkan hanyalah mengenai keluarga kami. Anak sulung saya hanya dapat melihat papanya di hujung minggu sahaja. Saya juga yakin yang rezeki ada di mana2.


Kami juga telah berjanji (cuma tak ada hitam putihla) yang saya akan memberi peluang kepada suami untuk menyambung pelajaran terlebih dahulu sebelum saya mendapat peluang saya. Kami rasa anak2 terabai sekiranya kami belajar pada masa yang sama. Bukan senang untuk menyambung pelajaran di peringkat sarjana dan doktor falsafah. Tanyalah sesiapa yang pernah menyambung pelajaran ke peringkat ini, pasti mereka akan mengatakan ianya menuntut banyak perngorbanan.

Sepanjang berada di sini (NZ), saya dan suami telah terlepas beberapa peristiwa penting yang berlaku dalam keluarga kami. Kami tidak mampu untuk pulang menghadiri perkahwinan adik suami saya pada akhir tahun 2007. Arwah ma saya meninggal pada bulan Jun tahun lepas dan kami hanya mampu pulang seminggu selepas itu. (susah untuk mendapat tiket). Dua bulan selepas itu, adik perempuan saya (kami amat rapat) pula melansungkan perkahwinannya. Sewaktu kami pulang, kami sempat membantu membeli alat2 untuk hantaran. Jadi saya tidaklah terkilan sangat. Tahun depan, seorang lagi adik saya, kali ini adik lelaki yang sudah setahun lebih bertunang pula akan melangsungkan perkahwinan pada bulan Februari. Nampak gayanya saya akan terlepas lagi peristiwa penting itu. Sebagai kakak sulung, perasaan terkilan tidak boleh dielakkan kerana saya rasa saya bertanggungjawab untuk membantu adik2. Apatah lagi setelah kehilangan arwah ma.

Seperti kata P.Ramlee dalam lagunya:

berkorban apa saja
harta ataupun nyawa
itulah kasih mesra
sejati dan mulia

Tanggumgjawab saya semestinya kepada suami dan saya perlu mengutamakan suami terlebih dahulu kemudian barulah kepada adik2 saya. Hmmmm bukan mudah......

Curiosity should never be stopped even curiosity killed the cat

My eldest daughter (she's 4) is always curious about lots of things. It can be sometimes tiring for me and my hubby to answer all of her questions. We always try to give the answer to her questions in the simplest way possible. (though trust me, it's not easy). As her parents, we want to encourage her to have the interest and most importantly to nurture her curiosity into learning new things. However, there's a danger in providing all the answers to our children! When we have provided all the answers, we somehow have stopped the curiosity. They don't have to further think and use their imagination.

The reason for writing up this entry is because I want to share here about some questions that we can use to let our children to imagine, elaborate and tell stories. Using these open-ended questions will let them think creatively, solve problems and let them share more information. I got these from Peachgrove Playcentre and we (the mothers at playcentre) have been practicing this technique to enforce effective communication.

These are the questions:
I wonder what the problem is?
I wonder what might happen next?
I wonder what would happen if...
I wonder what might happen if we changed...
I wonder how it is similar to...
I wonder how it is different to...
I wonder how we can make it better?

I know that in Malay culture, we don't really listen to our children. (correct me if I'm wrong). Maybe because of the elders "makan garam dulu". We always wonder why do Malays are so shy and don't ask too many questions especially at school? I used to teach secondary school students (where most of them were Malays) and at the end of each lesson, I rarely hear any questions nor opinions even after I said that "I would appreciate if there's any questions or suggestions". The same thing happen in the tertiary level when again I seldom hear any questions from my Malay students. (I taught Engineering students in USM).

It's never too late to change this. The best time to start is when they are still young. The sooner we start, the better generation we would have. I'm not an expert nor a certified psychologist in this field. But I just want to share what I've learnt in the playcentre and through my own experinces in rearing my children.

I wonder questions create options
I wonder questions dig deeper
I wonder questions avoid "Whys"
I wonder questions avoid "Yes" or "No" answers
I wonder questions are empowering

???????????????

Let's try this technique and you can tell me or share with me the result of this.