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Thursday, November 11, 2010

Offended? Puzzled? Or Do you just avoid when somebody ask a very personal question?

Salam,

I want to share a little story today about a maid that my BIL & his wife just hired.(mungkin mcm mengumpat sikit tapi sy hanya nak tahu pendapat yg lain) Every morning since Monday, they brought their maid and their eldest son to my MIL's house. This is just temporary as they want my aunt (PIL's youngest sister) to monitor this maid. She is actually a nice lady at the age of 40's. She's married and have 5 children who are now staying with  her husband somewhere in Medan.

We don't really mind her being talkative and sometimes kind of bubbly. However, even my BIL also has noticed that sometimes she asks too many unnecessary questions like some personal questions. As I normally come back home by 5 o'clock every day, I always bump into her and have had the chance to talk to her.

On the first day (Monday), she greeted us warmly and we were okay and happy to see that she's seriously want to work. She asked some questions on Monday about my  kids and other things. It's  only when she started to ask questions like "Why do you only have two children?", "Do you have problem in conceiving?", "Are you on prescriptive pills or do you take any the methods to avoid pregnancy?", I was so speechless at first. Seriously! She just knew me for few hours and she wants to know all of that personal matters! I didn't want to be  rude to her as I respect her as she's older than me. I just told her that we (my hubby and I) are having a lot of unsolved problems and matters at the moment. We have decided that we are happy and want to enjoy our two daughters first. Then, I told her that I had to attend to my daughters. tapi dlm hati mcm geram jugak sbb dia sibuk nak tahu mcm2 tentang kita. hish

Yesterday and today, luckily I didn't have to talk to her as she was busy with my BIL's son and they also left the house earlier. Before they went back to my BIL's house, my BIL have asked me about his maid. I had to tell him that I was uncomfortable when she asked  too many personal questions. Other than that, I don't have anything against her. My BIL told me that he has actually warned her before as during the last long weekend when they went back to my BIL's in-laws house, his in-laws (his wife's siblings) also told him the same thing.

NOW.....my questions to all of you who are reading this entry:
  • Do you think that I was over reacting?
  • Do you agree that she (the maid) has crossed the line when she asked some personal questions?
  • What would you do if you were in my situation?
  •  What's the best answers when you feel uncomfortable with some of the questions from a stranger?
For me she is still a stranger as we just knew her less than one week. Please tell me your honest opinion about this. Thank you.

19 comments:

Diyana said...

maid tu jns ramah..tak kena tempat. saye slalo avoid org camtu..tp itula,dlm kes akak ,mesti tk dpt nak ngelak kan?klu pasni ,die tny lbh2..buat je muka mcm tk senang..harap die pahamla

transformed housewife said...

Diyana- aah. akk pun nak avoid dah lps ni dan buat muka tak senang. tak suka org tanya hal dlm kain kita kan.

Syigim said...

kak nur xover reacting la. ok la tu. tu dah kira bagus la that you actually answered her Qs rather than walk away.

i agree she's out of line for someone you barely knew. mmg ade org mcm ni & this kind of ppl doesnt mean to be rude - tp mmg suka brtanya sgt smpai buat org uncomfortable.

if it were me, i'll avoid, kalo xleh avoid, senyum je n cari xcuse to walk away hihi.

Anonymous said...

nyampah jer kan bila jumpa org terlebih peramah ni...
BIL awak kena hati2 juga tu... silap haribulan dia selongkar satu rumah

Nadiah Sidek said...

mmg tak kena la mcm tu kak nur. mungkin dia saje nak bersembang kot tapi benda2 yg ditanya tu too personal. nadiah sendiri tak berani nak tanya benda2 gitu melainkan pd yg betul2 rapat

ICA said...

Nur, mmg patut your BIL slow talk with his maid tu...and kena buat from time to time coz if perangai dia dah mcm tu, it'll be hard for her to change overnight. I agree dia mmg a bit overboard with her questions but perhaps coz she's used to it kot. Org ni mcm2 ragam ada....kan. Kadang2 org yg kita dah kenal lama pun boleh soal menyoal soalan2 yg tak berlapik ni. Attitude lah tu.

isabelle said...

i cenderung rasa dia jenis try to get to know u more, dan tak tau nak pilih topic apa.
(pelik ni, selalu i buruk sangka & nak hangin je).
anyway, kalo lps ni selalu jadi lagi, jwb je bena x bena..mesti dia perasan punya

MR said...

Thanks ya, nnt hadiah sampai kita inform ekk.

lari topik! kekekeke

yatie chomeyl said...

anggap jah la maid tu jenis ore x cerdik, x reti baso sikit , stail mami jarum gitu lah, . ni maid imran & azren ko>

transformed housewife said...

Syigim: have to think of more excuses after this. huhu

fa10: mmg my BIL & his wife tgh dok perati ni.

transformed housewife said...

Nadiah: tula kan. kita sendiri pikir banyak kali bila nak tanya personal questions to other people.

Ica: I can be friendly but there must always a line where we shouldn't cross right?

transformed housewife said...

Belle: knur ni kdg2 susah sikit nak buat tak tahu kat org walaupun menyampah kat org tu. kena belajar dr u ni.

transformed housewife said...

MR- mmg lari topik. lain kali sila komen ikut topik ye. hehe

Ti: yup. maid Imran & Azren.

Wan Anie said...

setiap org berbeza2 tidak kira kedudukan mana dia, maid atau majikan.

ikut kebijaksanaan Nur, jika selesa teruskan jika tidak, try to avoid with excuses....

Unknown said...

wahh.. ni memang dah cross the line... kalo kakyong acuh tak acuh jer la.. bukan nak being rude.. tp berpada2 lah kan... sbb hal2 mcm ni kita jarang share dgn org asing... hatta kawan baru kenal pun xde lah kita suka2 nak jawab & beramah tamah tentang hal peribadi..

transformed housewife said...

thanks Anie.

Kyong- harap2 lps ni dia takde tanya hal2 peribadi sy dah.

inahornaw said...

kak nur, mmg org timur ni takmacam org barat..saya pernah bc somewhere, kalu kat barat tu, pasal family pun kira personal kalu ditanya masa first time jumpa org...
kat malaysia ni, org agak tak jaga privacy org lain...

Hanz Jamaludin said...

K.Nur, memang ada orang ceggini, dia nak ramah tapi tak bertempat..macam Hanz aritu gi dentist..tiba2 receptionist/nurse tu tanya kat mana beli cincin kat jari manis kanan. Terkedu jap sebab tak pernah orang tanya cenggitu.Hanz just jawab, mak yg bagi tapi memng betullah tu jawapannya.. hehe

transformed housewife said...

Inahornaw- betullah. kita yg kena pandai2 nak menjawab pulak kan.

Hanz- susah nak deal dgn org ramah tapi tak ade batas ni. huhu