It is hard to learn English?

Salam,

I got this from FB and I don't agree with the statement because "if there's a will there's a way". The grammar of English is really challenging because there are always some exceptions that you need to know. But when you learn the grammar of other languages, there are a lot things that you need to know too. In my opinion, you just need to make more efforts to learn.

Saying "Cheers".

Salam,

Here's another entry on learning on how to use English in your daily usage.

How many of you realize that some people just love to use this word "CHEERS"? Most of us normally associate this word with the situation where somebody is toasting an alcoholic drink to others because they are celebrating something.

There are other meaning of cheers if we check in http://thesaurus.com. That's why it's important to differentiate between the CONNOTATION meaning and the DENOTATION meaning. Connotation basically means the meaning is based on people's perception of the current situation. While denotation means the meaning is based on the English dictionary.

The meaning of cheers for the action of toasting a alcoholic drink to celebrate is more on the CONNOTATION meaning.

The meaning of cheers in DENOTATION meaning:

Main Entry:

cheer  [cheer] Show IPA

Part of Speech:

noun

Definition:

happiness

Synonyms:

animation, buoyancy, cheerfulness, cheeriness, comfort, delight, encouragement, exuberance, gaiety, geniality, gladness, glee, good cheer, hilarity, hopefulness, jauntiness, jocundity, joy, joyousness, lightheartedness, liveliness, merriment, merry-making, mirth, optimism, solace

Antonyms:

depression, gloom, gravity, melancholy, sadness, seriousness, unhappiness

Murder of English

Salam,

I found this on my FB wall. Read the sentences and see if you can understand the punch lines.

 

Having certain accent doesn't make you a fluent English speaker.

Salam,

Fluency in English is somehow being falsely associated with having certain accent. At least that's what most of our students think when they first registered to learn English in our centre. They have this notion that when you can speak English with certain accent like American accent, you can be fluent in English. Some even ask, "Which accent do you teach here?". Our response is, "What?". "We don't specialize in teaching any kind of accent".

You can speak and sound like "Barrack Obama" or "Queen Elizabeth" but what makes you become fluent is the practice. Practice makes perfect is always true when you want to be good. So, stop thinking about "learning" certain accent because accent can't be learned but must be acquired!

"Phishing" sounds like 'fishing' but they're not the same.

Salam,

This month I'm teaching new class and a new level. There's a lot of interesting topics to be discussed in the subject called "Conversation". One of the topics that we are discussing now is about "All about Internet". Before I go deeper into discussing "Cyber Crimes" with my students, I have went through the slides and the lesson plan before tomorrow's class. Then, I found this new jargon for me. It's "PHISHING". I have to admit that I'm not so techno-savvy. That's why I'm still a bit clueless on certain jargon on the internet or if they are related to new gadgets.

Does anyone know what is PHISHING? Now, let me share what I've found from WEBOPEDIA.COM

phishing [View Webopedia Definition]
(fish´ing) (n.) The act of sending an e-mail to a user falsely claiming to be an established legitimate enterprise in an attempt to scam the user into surrendering private information that will be used for identity theft. The e-mail directs the user to visit a Web site where they are asked to update personal information, such as passwords and credit card, social security, and bank account numbers, that the legitimate organization already has. The Web site, however, is bogus and set up only to steal the user’s information.

After checking the meaning of the jargon, now I know that it's quite common nowadays to see this activity. It's in fact part of Cyber Crimes. Everyday we receive a lot of junk mails through our e-mail account. Most of the senders are actually have to tried to phish you. A lot of people have become victims and a lot more will be if we are not careful enough. Thus, prevention is better than cure. I always transfer most of the junk mails into te spam box and then delete them a.s.a.p.

Okay, that's all for the lesson now. (hehe). I'm just happy to share what I have just discovered. If you knew about this, maybe you can elaborate more in the comment box. Thanks :D

Don't beat around/about the bush!

Salam,

As the non-native speakers of English, we always find it difficult to really follow and understand the structure in English. Most of the time, our L1 (first language) is the common language that we use everyday. Thus, we tend to think and construct sentences in our first language then translate them literally into English. When my students ask for some tips especially in writing, I couldn't just give any shortcuts to them. Would you like to know the tips too? Yes? Okay- let's see.................................................


Tips in using English without any literal translation from L1.

1- Start with simple sentences in English.
    Using simple sentences can avoid you from committing too many grammatical errors. Only when you are familiar with compound sentences, then you can start experimenting and venture in them.

2- Make sure the words that you are using are in the correct context.
    Some words have so any meanings. That's why it's important to check which meaning that you intend to say in your sentence. Wrong context can caused misunderstanding.

3- Read and apply sentences that you've read or heard somewhere.
    It's always handy when you are an avid reader because you'll be so familiar with some expressions or quotations  used by other people. This is the best way to write a good piece of writing provided that you quote it by acknowledging the source.

4- Stop thinking in your L1 structure.
    What will happen when you are  still thinking in your L1? You'll write sentences that have weird context and may sound funny.

5- Last but not least; Don't beat around/about the bush.
   English is pretty simple language. You can just tell what you want to tell in few words. Some other languages like Bahasa Melayu, we have to beat around/about the bush before we can say what we want to say. So, next time you want to write something in English; just go straight to your point.

I hope these tips can help those who still doubt that they can write something in English. I would say the best method is also just keep trying until you get there. Don't ever give-up because it's never too late to start learning and applying your skills.

Amusing Literal Translation- Fathini & Hafizah's style

Salam,

My daughters; Fathini & Hafizah are still in the process of acquiring Bahasa Melayu after they have been introduced to English first. This is due to fact that they need to use English when we were in New Zealand in order for them to socialize with their Kiwi friends in Peachgrove Playcentre.

So now, they always come out with some amusing translation of certain words when they are not sure what are the correct terms. Let's see some words that I'm able to recall today. 

1.   No hand t-shirt. (FOR SLEEVELESS T-SHIRT)

      I reckon you can guess why they use the term "no hand" RIGHT? It's the literal translation from BM of   "baju tanpa lengan". hehe

2.  I don't want to friend you! (FOR I HATE YOU, I DON'T WANT TO BECOME YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE)


     Again this is quite normal and this sentence is what kids like to use whenever there are some arguments or they are having misunderstanding. No matter how many times I want to correct them, my daughters just refuse to use the correct sentence just because they hear their friends use it everyday.

All right. Since today is SATURDAY.....I reckon I better keep this entry short and simple. SO, till next time. BYE.

No accent is the BEST ACCENT. SO, BE PROUD OF YOUR MANGLISH ACCENT.

Salam,

Have you ever listen to some accents and you are amazed when you listen or you have had hard time to understand certain accent? What about slang? What's the difference between slang and accent? Do they refer to the same thing?

Accent:
is the pronunciation characteristic of a certain locality. (source: WIKIPEDIA)
Or the simplest way to explain it, accent is the way certain group of people from the same place talk in English. (by the way, even in other languages it's also called accent as long as they use the same language).

Slang:
is the use of informal words and expressions that are not considered standard in the speaker's dialect or language. Slang is often to be found in areas of the lexicon that refer to things considered taboo (see euphemism). It is often used to identify with one's peers and, although it may be common among young people, it is used by people of all ages and social groups. (source: WIKIPEDIA)

Most of the time, young generation has their own kind of language that we call "slang". Again this is not restricted only to English but also in other languages as well.


Why do I brought this issue up? Well, for one thing, most of us Malaysians are not confident with our own unique Manglish accent that we want to emulate either British, American or sometimes Australian accent. Some of my ex-students (either when I taught Msians in USM or in ELS), look down on my capability of teaching them English just because I don't really have the strong accent in British, American or any other accents except for Malaysian English accent.

I don't really see what's the problem with the accent as long as they can understand what I'm teaching them. PLUS.............if they really want to learn from teachers who are native speakers, they will face a lot of problem to understand those teachers especially if the students' level of English is not really good. I had some ex-lecturers from USA, UK and one from Ireland. The most difficult accent for me is the IRISH ENGLISH accent. My ex-coursemates and I had to learn LITERATURE from that particular IRISH lecturer. So, just imagine the combination of difficult accent and difficult subject!

MY SUGGESTIONS AND CONCLUSIONS HERE ARE JUST SIMPLE:
1- DON'T BE ASHAMED OF YOUR MANGLISH ACCENT.

2- THERE'S NO ACCENT IS MORE SPECIAL THAN THE OTHERS. THEY ARE JUST DIFFERENT.

3- PLEASE DON'T LOOK DOWN ON YOUR QUALIFIED ENGLISH TEACHER JUST BECAUSE HE/SHE IS MALAYSIAN AND NOT THE NATIVE SPEAKER.

4- SLANG IS SOMETHING TOTALLY DIFFERENT FROM ACCENT.

Not good in English? How to be good or improve your English? (PART 2)

Salam,

This is the continuation from yesterday's entry. If any of you wonder why am I promoting English here? Well, it's definitely because I totally ignore or don't like to use Bahasa Melayu. It's just that I feel it's my responsibility to share my knowledge and my experiences as an English teacher. I also want to see more Malaysians to use the standard English so that the native speakers of English would respect us more. It's true that Japanese don't have to master English to be a successful country BUT even then, they still need to learn English if they want to communicate with other people. Some of my students always tell me that they don't like to learn English BUT they still need to learn it for communication, education and business purposes.

Let's get back to the suggestions:

4.           Make a habit to use English in writing messages in your mobile phone and also write some 
              entries in English if you have a blog.

   Some of you might say that you are not good in English. BUT if you never try, how do you know that you
   are not good and how can you improve if you seldom use it? Start of with something simple when you want
  to write in your blog. For the messages through mobile phone or even writing your status in FB,FS, TWITTER or others, just share your thoughts in simple sentences.

5.           Enroll yourself in a language center like ELS language center.

    This is kind of free promotion for the company that I'm now attached to. (LOL). However, on a more serious note, if you need to sit for TOEFL,IELTS or A LEVEL examination, the best way is to learn from English instructors. The fee is quite high but at the end, you'll get a lot of help and guidance from the instructors. The positive environment can also help you to be fluent in English.

6.          Teach the correct English to your children, younger siblings or even your friends.

    You might think how can you teach other people when you yourself are not so good RIGHT? In my humble opinion, you might know something that other people don't know so it's not wrong to teach people what you really know. "Sharing is caring"- so why do you need to hesitate further? For Parents- you are the best teachers to your children. They'll appreciate more when they can learn from YOU!


7.          Last but not least, change the negative of attitude of "I can't" to "I can"!


    It's never too late to start and your positive attitude can affect those around you too! REMEMBER- Don't use any excuses anymore because you won't be able to achieve anything when you have 1001 excuses.

Not good in English? How to be good or improve your English? (PART 1)

Salam,

I've always been asked by my students on how can they  improve their English. There's no shortcut to improve your language ability in any languages. We have to put so much efforts and the most important thing is the passion to learn more and never quit. Most of us have learned English since kindergarten but we are still not confident enough to communicate in English. This is because we seldom use English and when we need to use it, we feel so inferior especially in front of the native speakers. Little that we realize, they themselves are not really aware of the correct usage of grammar. It's like when we use our Bahasa Melayu. How many of us use the correct BM everytime we speak BM? Not so many right? SO.....just think about that the next time, you struggle or feeling not confident to use English.

OKAY. Let's get back to the BORING TOPIC here. (yup I know it's boring *yawn*).

HERE ARE SOME COMMON SUGGESTIONS AND ALSO MY OWN INPUTS FOR THE SUGGESTIONS:

1.     Read a lot of English books, magazines, newspapers or even blogs!

       This is the easiest way to increase your vocabulary and at the same time, pick up the correct English grammar. If you say "I don't have time", you are just using the excuse that can hinder you from improving your English. Choose the material that you love the most as some people prefer to read novels, some love magazines and I myself prefer to read blogs nowadays. hehe

2.     Practice using English whenever and wherever possible.

        Basically the saying "Practice makes perfect" is TRUE. I reckon most of us know that but we still use again thousands excuses not to practice. Based on my own experiences dealing with students who are not the native speakers, they usually feel so insecure, not confident and afraid to make grammatical errors and mistakes I want to ensure you that no one really check your grammar or even able to point out your mistakes unless the person is the linguists in English or maybe she is an English teacher. Yup, I myself an English teacher BUT I never try to correct anybody's mistakes unless it is meant for teaching.

3.     Watch English movies, listen to English songs. (not just for entertainment sake)

        My abah was the one who encouraged me to watch English movies with him when I was younger. He would asked me to accompany him to watch Midnight Movie on TV2 on Saturday night. He asked me not to depend on the subtitle (bcs the translation is sorry to say misleading and suck!) but trying to fully use my listening skills to understand what the actors trying to say. As for English songs, I choose the one that suit me like ballads because it's easy to listen to the lyrics compared to Hip Hop, Under ground music.

I better stop here now before most of you who are reading this entry fall into deep sleep. hehehe.
But seriously, I hope that this can help those who think they are not good in English. There's always some room for improvement as long as you never stop trying.

Series of Amusing Literal Translation- Part 2.

Salam,

I received some interesting comments regarding Part 1. It seems that there are many of you out there who want to know about some phrases and words which are literally translated from BM or even in other F1 (not Formula One but First Language) to English. So, this is the sequence of the series which will be one of the series in this blog.

• Sky Juice 

          Ever heard of the phrase before? Actually Isabelle was the one who asked me whether the phrase has
          the similar meaning to "water or plain water". I heard the phrase when I was in the secondary school
          and I thought it is the the accepted terms in English. It actually brings us to other kind of drink which is
          a BAHAMIAN ALCOHOLIC DRINK. You can try to GOOGLE up the terms and you'll find it.

• Carry the hands

          Fathini told me that one of her teachers in her kindy asked her and her friends to "carry the hands" 
          when they are supposed to "lift up their hands together" in one of the steps for the Indian dance
          during the OPEN DAY 2010. Fathini is like other kids who believe her teachers more than me. I had
          to convinced her that those are not the correct terms to be used. I didn't ask her to tell the teacher that
          she used the wrong phrases as I don't want the teacher to upset her.

• Pass away            
•                                                                                                                                                          This is a common phrasal verb mistake among Malaysians. We heard this has been used in jokes but we still are not quite sure what's wrong with these words. If you say "Can I pass away, please", you are actually asking a permission from somebody to go and die or maybe it's even scarier like committing a suicide. It's better to use the other phrasal verb which is "Can I pass thorough, please" just say "Excuse me". I reckon the mistake we make is somehow related to our culture when we have to seek permission to walk in front of people who are older than us.   

 I can just share another three examples here in this entry since I'm a bit tired and sleepy now. Hopefully I will be able to compile more amusing literal translation and share them in this blog. If any of you who are reading this entry, you always welcome to share or ask if you happen to come across any other amusing literal translation.                                                                                                                            

I want to jump, teacher! & Mama, open the tv. (Series of amusing literal translation- Part 1)

Salam,

I reckon most of us who are using English as our second language (or third or fourth), stumble upon difficulties to use the correct terms especially when we translate some terms or words literally from L1 (our first language). I myself sometimes commit some mistakes too though I'm an English teacher. Based on my 7 years of teaching English, I've come across many amusing literally translated words, terms or phrases. There are also some examples of amusing terms that my daughters always use.

1. I want to jump, teacher!

          My students in ELS language centre usually use this phrase when they ask me to promote them to another level. I and also some other teachers can't help ourselves but to reply "Sure. Why don't you jump out of the window!". Only after that response, they realize that it is wrong to use the word "jump" in the context. Then, I always give the correct phrases like "Can I be promoted to the next level, teacher?" or "Can I be bumped up to the next level?".
  
     2.  He/She is long.
      
          One of the genres in writing component is Descriptive writing. As most of them go to ELS with minimal knowledge in English, their writing skills are usually quite weak. The teachers even have to start teaching from the punctuations (full stop, comma, capital letters) before moving on to sentence structures. So, the sentence of  "He/She is long" is a normal sentence that some of them use to say "He/She is tall". 

     3.  The tyre has no wind.

          This might sound familiar right? I remember one of my ex-students in USM used the sentence when he was presenting a speech. I didn't stop him when he made the mistake because I need to give more marks on the content rather than just the grammatical errors or mistakes. Only after everybody finished presenting, I highlighted some common and amusing mistakes. So, "the tyre has no wind" should be changed to "the tyre is flat". 

     4.  Mama, open the tv please.

          Fathini and Hafizah always forget to use the correct phrase which is "Mama, please switch on the tv". Every time they say "Open the tv, please", my response is "I can't open it because I don't know how to repair or use screw drivers to open it". They normally laugh at their own mistake and I reckon sometimes they purposely make the same mistake just to tease me.

Well, I have to stop here for now since I plan to write about this as a long series and also I have to recall first of more amusing literal translation that I have come across. Hope this series will also help those who read to not repeating the same mistakes.

source: GOOGLE

Politically Correct Jargons/Terms- Interesting Eh?

Salam,

Have you ever heard or read somewhere about some politically correct jargons/terms that have been introduced to make some plain words sound better? The word HOUSEWIFE can be changed to DOMESTIC ENGINEER.  The word POLICEMAN OR POLICEWOMAN can be changed to LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICER.  Actually I just found this interesting website about some politically correct jargons/terms to be used. The link to the website in http://www.bored.com/pcphrases/

Just in case you can't find the website or you just don't have time to go to the website, I can share some interesting terms here:

Bald - comb-free.

Dishonest - Ethically disoriented.

Drug Addict - Chemically Challenged.

Garbage Man - sanitation engineer.
Gas Station Attendent - petroleum transfer technician.

Having PMS - cyclically challenged.

Pregnant - parasitically oppressed.

There are also some politically correct terms for women. Let's see which one do you agree and which one you that you don't agree:

Her breasts will never sag, they will lose their vertical hold.
She does not get drunk, she is accidentally over served or she becomes verbally dyslexic.
She does not get PMS, she becomes hormonally homicidal.
She does not hate sports on TV, she is athletically biased.
She does not have a great butt, she is gluteus to the maximus.
She does not have a hard body, she is anatomically inflexible.
She does not have a killer body, she is terminally attractive.
She does not have big hair, she is overly aerosoled.
She does not have big hooters, her cups runneth over.
She does not have great cleavage or a great rack, her breasts are centrally located.
She does not have sexy lips, she is collagen dependent.
She does not shave her legs, she experiences temporary stubble reduction.
She does not shop too much, she is overly susceptible to marketing ploys.
She does not snore, she is nasally repetitive.
She does not sun bathe, she experiences solar enhancement.
She does not wear too much makeup, she is cosmetically oversaturated.
She does not work out too much, she is an abdominal overachiever.
She does not: Get Drunk, She becomes Verbally Dyslexic
She is not a bad cook, she is microwave compatible.
She is not a bad driver, she is automotively challenged.
She is not A Gossip, She is a Verbal Terminator
She is not a gossip, she is a verbal terminator.
She is not a Perfect 10, she is numerically superior.
She is not cold or frigid, she is thermally incompatible.
She is not easy, she is horizontally accessible.
She is not hooked on soap operas, she is melodramatically fixated.
She is not too skinny, she is skeletally prominent.
She will never gain weight, she will become a metabolic underachiever.
You do not ask her to dance, you request a precoital rhythmic experience.

I KNOW, I KNOW THAT THE LISTS ARE QUITE LONG BUT JUST SCAN THE TERMS THAT YOU AGREE AND YOU CAN TELL ME YOUR OPINION.
    

Counting in different languages.

Salam,

One of my passions is learning other languages since I was small. I started to love pick up some words whenever  I watch movies or dramas in other languages. I've learnt Arabic for 3 years when I studied in Arabic school, I've learnt Thai from one of my neighbours in Kubang Kerian, Kelantan, Hindi from watching too many Hindi movies (with the subtitles but after a while I can even understand without the subtitle), a little bit Spanish and Tagalog from watching soap operas from those countries.

When I was in NZ for 3 1/2 years, I've learnt some words in Maori too as the language share some similarities with Bahasa Melayu. I make sure at least I know some basic words that I can use daily. From time to time, I love to learn more languages as we wouldn't know when do we might need to use them.

So, in this entry, I would like to share how to count from 1- 10 in different languages:

No.	Arabic	Thai	Spanish	French	Maori
1	wahid	neng	uno	un	tahi
2	isnain	song	dos	deux	rua
3	salasah	sam	tres	trois	toru
4	arbaah	si'	qustro	quatre	wha
5	khomsah	ha	sinco	cinq	rima
6	sittah	hok	seis	si	ono
7	sab'aah	chet	seite	sept	whitu
8	samaniyah	pet	ocho	huit	waru
9	tis'aah	kau	nuev	neuf	iema
10	'asyarah	sip	diez	dix	tekau

Notice that Spanish and French share a lot of similarities. Even BM and Maori share some common words as the originality of both languages come from the same root. I know that those who are reading this entry have more knowledge in other languages as well. I would love to hear what are the languages that you know and maybe why you love to learn those languages.

If you ask me why do I love to learn different languages, my answer is simple. I love to hear the different pronunciations and also learn different grammatical rules. In short, my hubby is a scientist who loves to deal with bacterias but I love to dissect languages and do experiments using different languages. 

Casual tone vs textbook tone.

Salam to all,
                I started my journey in this blogging world in May 2009. At first I was clueless of what to write and how. As I went along, I've learnt a lot from other bloggers, forums, MBP and tutorial blogs.
I couldn't help but notice the tone of writing in blog. The most popular tone is definitely the casual tone!
Frankly, I was struggling to write using the casual tone because:

• I was an English teacher/tutor and I'm so used to the textbook tone.
• I'm not really chatty in real life and only talk when I think I need to.
• I lost in touch with the current slang esp. the teenagers slang. (eg. perkataan mcm "Poyo", "Sengal" dll)
• I've been taught by my abah to avoid from code-mixing or code-switching as it's not a good practice and we tend to contaminate the languages we use.

          After reading other people's blogs, I understand why do people prefer to read entries in the casual tone. I've tried hard to fit in and change a little bit of my writing style but not to the extend of losing who I am. The casual tone is actually have a lot in common with how you talk to your friends. You tend to mix languages esp. BM and English and also use slang.

        Why do people like casual tone?

• it has the friendlier approach.
• it sounds like the author of the blog is talking to them.
• it's amazingly entertaining and relaxing.
• it can also be humorous if the author is really good in playing with words.

       Now, what say you?  I would be please to know what others think about this bcs studying language is my passion and I can't help but to observe this pattern in the blogging world. Who knows this can be my toppic for the dessertation at the end of the Master Degree that I'm planning to do once we go back to Malaysia. Hmmmm, not a bad idea right?

Dialek Kelate vs B.Malaysia (BM entry)

Salam semua,
            Sebenarnya dah lama saya teringin nak berkongsi cerita lawak2 yg diperolehi dr ahli keluarga dan kwn2. Lawak2 ni terjadi oleh akibat salah faham apabila satu pihak menggunakan perkataan di dlm dailek Kelate dan satu pihak lg kurang mahir/ tak faham lansung dialek Kelate.

            Kalau ada yg pernah terdengar cerita2 lawak ini, bolehla komen dan beritahu sy cerita mana yg anda pernah dengar. Kalau nak pilih mana cerita yg paling lawak pun boleh. Cuma sy tak de hadiah la nak bg. hehe. Tengokla mungkin sblm balik Msia, sy nak buat satu contest.

Cerita Pertama:


Ada sekumpulan anak2 muda yg kesemuanya berasal dr Kelantan sedang menunggu di meja untuk memesan makanan mereka.Mereka memilih untuk makan di sebuah restoran mamak di Selangor.


Pelayan A: Mau makan apa? Minum apa?

Mamat: Aku nok roti cana' & teh tarik.

Dollah: Roti telur satu & milo.

Pok Jie: Roti sardin & teh tarik.

Mat Din: Ambo tok se' make tapi nok teh tarik.(tak mahu makan)


Setelah selesai mengambil pesanan, pelayan tersebut beredar ke dapur. Apabila makanan siap, pelayan tersebut kembali ke meja mereka dan meletakkan makanan & minuman yg telah dipesan.


Mat Din: Eh! Bilo pulok aku nok "Tosei"?( Bila pulak aku nak tosei)

Pelayan A: Tadi order satu Tosei? 

Mamat, Pok Jie dan Dollah dah mula terbahak2 bila menyedari silap faham yg berlaku.

Mamat: Tulah. Sapo suruh mung royak "Tok Se". Make jahla "tosei" tu. Buke mahal pung. hahahah. (Siapa suruh kau cakap "tak mahu". Makan sajalah tosei tu. Bukan mahal pun.)


Cerita kedua:

Tok Loh ni pernah jd ketua kampung. Apa2 masalah anak2 buah dia, dia mmg ambil berat. Satu hari, ada seorang anak buat yg meminta Tok Loh menelefon Doktor Haiwan kerana haiwan ternakannya sakit.


Tok Loh: Hallo. Ni klinik Nate ko? Bulih ambo kecek dgn Doktor Nate?( Ni klinik Haiwan ke?Boleh   saya bercakap dgn Doktor Haiwan?) 

Cik Minah: Hallo. Pakcik boleh cakap elok2 tak. Tak patut panggil "Nate" pd doktor.
Tok Loh: Doh oghe kelate tok panggil "Nate" tu "Haiwe". Not wat ghano. (Dah org Kelantam tak panggil "binatang" tu "Haiwan". Nak buat mcmmana.

Cik Minah: Baiklah. Kenapa pakcik telefon?

Tok Loh: Royak ko Doktor, suruh maghi ko pdg sebeloh sekoloh Kg. Ru Pjg sbb ado lembu sakit.(Cakap pd Doktor, suruh dia ke pdg sekolah Kg. Ru Pjg sbb ada lembu sakit).


Cik Minah: Baiklah.


Cerita ketiga:

Mama: Iffah! Mama letihla lagu ni! (mama letihla mcm ni)

Iffah: Kenapa mama?

Mama: Tengoklah nih. Mama "tok cekak"(tak larat) nok kemas baju2 dlm bakul ni.

Iffah: Nak "Check-up" apa pulak mama? (anaknya kebingungan)

Mama: Ish....budak ni. Tulah mama nak ajar dialek kelantan tak nak belajar. Bila mama  guna perkataan lain sikit, mulalah tak faham. "Tok cekak" tu maksudnya "tak larat".

Iffah: hehehe. Takpe2. Nanti Iffah susun balik. (muka dah merah sbb malu.)


Cerita keempat:


Isteri: Bakpo Abe buat lagu ni?

Suami: Lagu apa pulak ni. Lagu pop, rock, asli atau keroncong? (sambil terseyum sumbing)

Isteri: Ish...............Org cakap: Kenapa Abg buat mcm ni? 

Suami: Oooooo. Tapi org mana pulak?

Isteri: Benci lah. Malas nak layan Abg.

Suami: Alah merajuk pulak. Saje Abg buat "lagu" lawak bodoh utk "org" abg. hehehe.



Ok. Macammana? Ada unsur2 lawak tak? Saya tak berapa mahir sebenarnya nak menulis pasal benda2 kelakar ni. Kalau tak faham lawak2 tu, buat2lah faham ye. :P. Kalau nak tanya apa maksudnya lawak tu pd kwn2 org Kelantan pun boleh. Atau boleh tanya sy kat kotak komen.