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Thursday, February 11, 2010

Between Hitler's style, Hippies's style and a bit of both.....

Salam to all,
                  My father used to encourage me to read motivational books. He even gave me a lot of the motivational books from his own collection. I remember that I've read about lots of motivational and inspiration stories. I've been fascinated with books that classified us based on our personality. I even read about types of parents years before I got married and became a parent myself. Thus, this time I'm trying to interpret it in my own way.

PARENTING STYLES
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1. Now let's see Hitler's style(The Authoritarian Parent):
You like to give orders to your kids. When your kids ask questions, you'll say "Because I said so!". 
You tend to give attention more when your kids have done something wrong. 
Your kids usually have little freedom and lower self-esteem. (Ini ibubapa yg selalu cakap "Ibu/Ayah makan garam dulu")

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2. Hippies's style (The Permissive Parent)

You tend to give the total freedom to your kids. They can get and do whatever they want. 
You want your kids to like you and that's why you tend to give in all the time.
Your kids will grow up and learn that they can manipulate you in order to
get what they wish.

3. A bit of both styles (The Democratic/Authoritative Parent)

You set some limits and boundaries but you also give some freedom when you think it's 
appropriate. In this kind of environment, your kids will have high self-esteem and they'll 
grow up to be matured adults. 

Now, which category or which parenting style are you using? If you ask me, I would say I'm a bit of both styles but my hubby beg to differ. huhu. He reckons sometimes I'm a bit soft bukan lembut mcm sotong tu with our daughters. He reckons I have to learn how to be firmer. takpela, mmg kena belajar dr kesilapan kan? From the information that I've gathered from books and internet sources, there are other interesting names given to describe parenting styles. There are the survival, default and intentional parent; The Helicopter,Snowplow and Bulldozer parent; The Drill Sargeant, Search and Rescuer and Consultant. Whatever the names are, they basically describing the same types.

What do you after you've identify your type? I may not be the best person to suggest as I myself struggle everyday too. So, why not we:
  • improve on our weaknesses.
  • be firmer when we've made our decision and stick to it.
  • focus more on positive behaviours as we want to reward on that not on the negative behaviours.
  • consult with our other half before the final decision is made.(esp on serious matter)
  • lastly, of course pray and pray that our kids will turn to be good, responsible adults.


2 comments:

ila@cantekmama said...

Parenting style ape eh kitaorg~x pastila..Tp yg mmg kitaorg practise skrg kalau anak buat salah,papa yg marah anak mama akan diam n x akan seblahkan sape2..Camtu gak if mama yg marah anak..Sbb x nak nanti diaorg xde prasaan rase bersalah kalo wat silap sbb dah tau sure ade org yg akan 'backup'..Hmm agak ganas :),tp tu seme bkn pe kak just nak ajar diaorg supaya behave sket especially kalo g umah org ;)

temp. housewife said...

Ila,
I reckon that's a little bit of both (Authoritative style). That's the best parenting style. :)